I am so grossed out right now!

I have worms. Perhaps I should clarify and say that I have worms in my utility room. There are a bazillion of them...maybe a few less than that...on the baseboard behind the cat dish. I cannot even describe how incredibly disgusted I was when Jeremy--the man who supposedly loves me--showed them to me. And underneath the worms were tiny webs filled with a bazillion more eggs. I am not kidding...why would I??

So yesterday morning, I walked into our property managers office and looked at Keri and said very seriously, "There is a worm infestation at 404 E Morningside". Keri, who is super efficient, immediately called a terminator. God bless her. Yesterday afternoon, my cell phone rang. Let me share with you how that conversation went.

ME: HELLO?

UNKNOWN CALLER: IS THIS JULI?

ME: YES.

UNKNOWN CALLER: THIS IS LARRY WITH WRIGHT PEST CONTROL, BIRMINGHAM AND ASSOCIATES TOLD ME TO CALL YOU.

ME: OH!!! HI LARRY. IT APPEARS THAT WE HAVE A WORM INFESTATION AT OUR HOUSE.

LARRY THE WORM MAN: REALLY?? WHERE ARE THE WORMS?

ME: IN THE UTILITY ROOM, ON THE BASEBOARDS. I THINK THEY ARE COMING IN FROM THE GARAGE.

LARRY THE WORM MAN: HMMMM. WHAT COLOR ARE THE WORMS??

ME: UMMMM--SOME WERE WHITE, SOME WERE GRAYISH...I THINK.

LARRY--WORM GURU: WERE ANY OF THEM ROLLING INTO BALLS?

ME: (SILENCE) HUH??? YOU MEAN LIKE A ROLY POLY??

LARRY, WORM EXPERT: NO--NOT EXACTLY--YOU WOULD NOTICE IF ANY OF THEM HAD ROLLED INTO BALLS LIKE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

ME: WELL, LARRY, TO BE HONEST, I WAS TOO GROSSED OUT TO NOTICE IF ANY OF THEM WERE DOING TRICKS OF ANY SORT. I JUST KNOW THAT THEY ARE WORMS AND THEY ARE IN MY HOUSE.

LARRY, WORM GOD: I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY WERE IN THE GARAGE?

ME: (WONDERING WHY IT MATTERS) NO--THEY ARE IN MY UTILITY ROOM WHICH IS TECHNICALLY IN THE HOUSE.

LARRY, MY NEW BEST FRIEND: WHEN WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO COME TAKE CARE OF THEM??

ME: HOW 'BOUT WEDNESDAY??

So we're scheduled to be de-wormed tomorrow morning around nine. That is, unless, Larry decides that our worms are magical circus worms who should not perish. I mean, if they can roll into balls, who knows what else they might be able to do. Here's what I don't get--why do these professional men always expect you to be on their level and know what's going on?? I know NOTHING about worms **side note--my ninth grade biology teacher would be soooo disappointed about that, considering we spent a whole week dissecting one**. I will stay out of your way while you kill the worms--and then I will pay you for taking care of the problem, but please do not quiz me.

It is 10:45 p.m.--and Jeremy is DYING to teach me how to do Sudoku...can't wait. BUT, I told him I would at least give it a try. We are attempting to find something we have in common OTHER than Tanner...so far we have two things. We hate worms and we are both annoyed that I am spending so much time at home lately. Both not really things that we can bond over for long periods of time. So, maybe I will love sudoku, and we will live in wedded sudoku bliss for the rest of our lives. I'm betting though, that this time next week we will be making another attempt at finding something in common. I'll have to keep you informed on this one--it should be interesting and quite comical.

Love to you all...and think of me lying awake tonight afraid that the worms will get me. I am going to give Larry a big tip tomorrow!